Who really thinks this is cool?
Recently, while visiting some friends, I watched the CMA Award Show. For those of you who aren't fans of country music, this is the yearly Country Music Awards show. I would not classify myself as a huge country music fan but I was interested to see if Carrie Underwood would win any awards. Yes, I like Carrie Underwood, what of it!?
Anyway, on to the main topic of this "rant". During many of the performances through out the show there was a group of maybe 100-200 fans who were allowed to sit close to the performance stage. As I watched I was disturbed to see these fans start waving their hands in unison. Back and fourth, both arms extended skyward, palms facing the stage, right to left and back again...
I have seen this "move" many times before. It seems that this "dance" is destined to happen at every concert across the world at some point. I have seen it happen numerous times at youth camps and even during church services. My question is this: Why in the world do people do this?
I think this "dance", or whatever you want to call it, began by accident. Someone motioned for a friend and their wave happened to be in sequence with the beat of the song. For some unknown reason others thought this looked really "cool" so they joined in. Maybe it began in the '60's or '70's. Some pot smoking hippie tried to flag down the closest weed salesman and the people behind them (who were also high) thought this type of movement made them fly... I don't know.
Unfortunately, however it began, however long ago it was, people STILL wave their hands in unison today. The even bigger problem is that they STILL think it makes them look cool! No matter what they think, or how they feel, these people are goofy. Ant to the guy who takes it up a notch and adds a Bic lighter in his hand, you sir are an even bigger goof. Never mind the fact that you're dressed completely in denim. I can overlook the fact that your body odor is spreading faster than the bird flu. But please, for the love of God, if you are going to wave, at least wave with the beat! And stop looking around to see who else is waving with you because they are all on left while you are on right. Plus they are all dorks too! And yes, something smells bad...its you. All your waving has worn off your Old Spice underarm cream. To you sir, I hope you keep the Bic light for a long time... maybe a whole song. Long enough that when you put it back in your pocket it burns a hole through your Lee jeans and blisters your thigh!
So, here's to banning the "windshield wiper dance" forever. Here's to inflicting ridicule on people who take part in this activity. Here's to hopping none of us ever see people embarrass themselves in this manner again. Here's to remembering that if you are ever at a concert and feel the impulse to participate in this group dance, you're a NERD if you if you do it!