If You Ever Hear Me Say
I'm just going to jump into this one... I really love cheese. Cheese makes everything better. I love extra cheese on pizza, cheese balls, cheese dip, grilled cheese sandwiches and cheese trays. Among my favorites are Munster, Colby jack, smoked Gouda and cheddar. However, in my opinion, there is no better cheese than an aged, sharp cheddar cheese...for me, the sharper the better.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I dislike American cheese. Why does it come in individual plastic wrappers? Why is it limp? Why do Americans feel the need to process everything? Normally, I would like almost anything that said "American" in it, I love America- so I love their stuff. Not in this instance. I think that the name "American cheese" is unfortunate. I think it is a mistake for us to put or name on that "product. I don't want to be known for or associated with this cheese. I don't even want to write about anymore.
Ok. Back to the good stuff. I was recently discussing this topic with my wife and I came to the following conclusion. Since sharp cheddar cheese is my favorite cheese and America is my favorite nation, I should make a motion to change the name of cheddar cheese to American cheese. If the name change was okayed by whomever ok's that type of change, the former American cheese could be called South American cheese or something like that (who actually cares what they call it from now on because it's gross).
At that moment, I had an idea that can be described only as brilliant! Cheddar cheese should change it's name to Texas Cheese! It's big. Bold. Beautiful. The best taste and the best name. This would be the perfect combination! It's a done deal.
So, if you ever hear me say, "Man, that Texas cheese is awesome!" or ask "Do you have any extra sharp Texas cheese?", you will know what I am talking about.
PS- if you have any ideas as to what we could call the former "American cheese" let me know, because I think we Americans should get our name off that thing.